Let’s say you’re the President of the United States — okay? And you’re on the brink of escalating what promises to be a wider, more intense war than that which George W. Bush launched in Iraq. You’ve already sent in reinforcements, but you’re undecided about just how many more troops you’re going to send to Afghanistan – could be 20,000, could be 40,000, or even 60,000. But, in any case, you’ve ruled out
withdrawal and diplomacy: the only option you have left is more war.
In addition, you’re moving – slowly but surely – toward full-scale involvement in Pakistan, where your drones are daily wreaking death and destruction on innocent civilians, and destabilizing a government that is increasingly hostile to your machinations – even though you’re bribing them with billions that never reach their ostensible beneficiaries and only serve to fatten the purses of your Pakistani sock-puppets.
On top of that, you’ve just told the Palestinians that they must live with Israeli “settlements” and forced the UN to ignore an official report detailing the killing of thousands of innocent men, women, and children by IDF forces armed by the US.
So, naturally, as a reward for all your strenuous efforts on behalf of keeping the world a place that is less safe, less stable, and less worth living in than at any time since the outbreak of World War II, you are bestowed with – yes, that’s right, the Nobel Peace Prize. This, however, isn’t just any Nobel Peace Prize – oh no It’s a Bizarro Peace Prize – the natural result of us having slipped through a crack in the space-time continuum, and landed in a world where up is down, right is left, and war is peace – Bizarro World!
For years – ever since the 9/11 terrorist attacks – I’ve been saying that the sheer force of the explosions that sent us hurtling into a nightmare world of color-coded terrorist alerts and hunts for “weapons of mass destruction,” must have ripped a hole in the very fabric of reality. So that, today, we’re living in an alternate universe, where the laws of logic and reason are repealed – Bizarro World.
For a while there I thought we might be heading back toward reality, or at least some more rational version of it, and that what I call the Bizarro Effect might be wearing off. However, this morning’s shocker – the awarding of the Nobel Peace Prize to an American president about to launch a decades-long military occupation, even as he promises (so far to little effect) to bring another occupation to an end — has dashed that hope beyond redemption.
And as if to underscore the fact that we are still living in the world we woke up to on September 11, 2001, a top official of the Democratic National Committee – communications director Brad Woodhouse – has issued the following statement in response to guffaws from the peanut gallery:
“The Republican Party has thrown in its lot with the terrorists – the Taliban and Hamas this morning – in criticizing the President for receiving the Nobel Peace prize.”
As Obama prepares for war, and yet more war, anyone who questions this is a terrorist – and peace be with you, my son.